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Saturday, October 18, 2008

sadness (updated)

I think I just lost the baby.

prayers would be greatly appreciated.



Sorry I was so brief earlier. I am sure you can imagine why. I woke up this morning and was fine. I felt good! Me and my friend went to some garage sales, where I bought a nice baby swing and some bottles. When we were at the last yard sale, I felt like I started to bleed a little, and when I went home and went to the bathroom it was confirmed.
But I still felt good. So the 4 of us drove up to Tahoe so the guys could play some disc golf, and us girls took the dog to the dog park. I started to feel a little crampy there, but nothing big. Then we went to Ross, and were in the bathroom, and I started bleeding a little more and was feeling more cramps. I came out and was almost crying, and my friend Candy (who had a miscarriage about 12 weeks ago) prayed with me. I wasn't feeling good, so we went and got the guys and headed home. On the way home, the cramps got worse. Here I am a few hours later, still cramping and bleeding. I am pretty sure I have lost the baby. I tried calling my doctor, but couldn't get a hold of anyone.
That and I just got a bill from my insurance saying that the services were rendered after my coverage was terminated. (for my doctor's appointment last month) Which is BS, because I have been paying every week! and of course I can't call them because they are closed on the weekends. So monday morning I will try and get stuff worked out with them, and if I can, I will try and go to the doctor.
So, obviously it wasn't meant to be right now. Or maybe there was something wrong with the baby. I don't know. But it still sucks. I know we have only known for 9 days, but we had finally gotten our heads around the whole idea and were excited about it. I have even picked up a couple baby things. I mean, I guess it's still possible that I am still carrying it, but in my heart I feel like it is gone. It hurts. I can't believe how connected I already felt to this tiny thing that was growing inside of me.
At least Josh has already said that we can try again next month! haha. (or whenever I get the ok) Which is a good step. I guess he was more ready than I thought. =)
Anyways, Thank you all so much for your prayers and support. It means a lot to me.


Mojito Maven said...

ok katrina I am so so so so incredibly sorry. My thoughts and prayers are with you!!!

Mrs. Forever said...

oh katrina - I'm certainly praying for you!

Mrs. Forever said...

If you want a blog post to distract yourself with meaningless trivia - I tagged you. If you aren't up to it than please don't feel like you need to play along. Please let me know if there is anything at all I can do for you. I'll be keeping you in my prayers as you go through this.

Lizze said...

Katrina, I'm sorry. I love you. You will absolutely get my prayers.

Sweetassbabs said...

I am so sorry!!! I bleed and was a bit crampy when I was newly pregnant too, but I ended up being fine. I really hope that is the case with you. My thoughts are with you!!!

Eli's Lids said...

Just reading your story... I'm so sorry! Prayers from me to you1